Oh there's no place like home for the holidays.

So obviously, this is my first time away from home when all of the most popular American holidays are being celebrated. It's really weird not having been at Halloween with the French's...watching ridiculous horror movies and eating tons of food and candy, or helping mom get ready for our family to come over for Thanksgiving. It's even weirder to think that for the first time in my life, I'll be celebrating my birthday away from home. And not just any birthday--this is my 21st birthday. Of course in America, 21 is a huge deal. Sometimes it's such a big deal that kids can't even wait to have an authentic ID before going out and buying alcohol. However, in Germany, drinking is one of the most chill things you can possibly do. Now of course you have your exceptions with people who take things a little too far, but for the most part Germans have a very respectful relationship with drinking, unlike a lot of people (especially teens) in the US. Germans can start drinking and buying beer at the age of 16, and then can buy the harder stuff like vodka at 18. I personally agree a lot more with that approach than with the way the US handles it.

On December 6th, I will have been in Germany for 3 months already, however, it feels like so much longer! I have heard from a lot of people that the first few months are like the 'honeymoon period' where everything is exciting and brand new and you're up for anything with no reservations. But after those few months have passed and your brain begins to grasp the fact that this isn't just a vacation, they've told me it's as if your loyalties are starting to feel like they are being forced to choose between your homeland and the country you're currently living in. I've been told that I will either get to a point where I think everything in America is stupid and remain very harsh and critical, or I will have a new found sense of patriotism that I never knew I had in me. Well, here's the verdict--I love Germany. And I love America. America is my home, and I can't help but feel a wave of pride when I see American colors or the American flag on TV for some kind of event, and sometimes if I think on it too long I even find myself longing to return already. But Germany is another world from the one I grew up in. I have fallen in love with all of the Backereis, Marienplatz, die U-Bahns (even though it ate my H&M bag), hearing German everywhere, being able to practice my German, the Munich church family, the fact that it's SO NORMAL to take the entire day to study in a cute cafe with your kaffee dabei. No the service may not be that friendly, and the Germans may not be super patient with your attempts to speak their language....but then (like today) you eventually always run into a random German that hears you speaking your native language, and instead of getting huffy, they smile, ask in German what you're speaking, and say how wonderful it is to be able to hear languages from other parts of the world.

So, to those people who have told me I would feel the need to choose, this is how I choose to respond: It doesn't matter where I go, travel to, where I live in the future, or what language I speak--America is my home. It will always be home, and although it's not perfect by any means, I can't help but smile at the large influence it has had on Germany and in every part of the world. It may not be the best influence at times, but with our media alone it has infiltrated into every part of the German society, in big and small ways. It makes me smile because if I look hard enough there is always a piece of home with me. Germany is great--it has it's pros and cons just like every other place, and I appreciate what it has to offer to the world. And although the language is beyond frustrating at times, the moments I have where I finally say something right after having struggled with it for days, or I'm able to just answer without have to take 5 minutes to think about it, or someone shows the slightly bit of patience with my struggling attempts....makes it all worth it. When I can speak to someone in their native language and make them smile, or get to know them, how the live, what they think, and the vocabulary they use on a day to day basis..that also makes it all worth it.

Recently I've been trying to study the Bible out in German (and naturally in Englisch). Sometimes I get so frustrated because so many of the words used in the German Bible are words similar to words I already know in German...but they're kind of fancified, just like in the Englisch Bible, which can sometimes make it feel very impersonal. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that that's what makes the Bible special. Language and vocabulary are a part of what makes someone or something who they are. It would be boring if we all used the same vocabulary, and many people have always admired those with an extensive and colorful vocabulary, or with people who can speak many languages. Understanding a language is not just learning a new broad range of vocabulary taht sounds different from your own--it's learning about an entirely different culture, way of life, way of thinking, history, und so weiter. So for those of you thinking of trying to learn a foreign language, my advice is to not just learn it in the land where it doesn't really exist. Go to where it was created, and where it was first started. Experience it. Dare to see something out of what you're used to and comfortable with. The ways it challenges you to grow, be outside of yourself, possibly change yourself, and respect the people in a culture you can't erfassen is invaluable. Of course, this is looking at the situation with a reasonable perspective. It's a roller coaster of emotions, and if you gauge your experiences only on how you feel, then you'll never be able to fully appreciate the beauty of learning from another country.

Some things about Germans I've learned that never fail to catch my attention:

1) They blow their nose really, really loud. When I lived with my second host family I always heard it and just assumed it was a personal thing. But no, it never fails. When a German blows their nose, it sounds like a blow horn.
2) They take their animals everywhere! In America, we can't do this. But you will see dogs on the U-Bahns, in restaurants, in the stores, and other extremely random locations. I am always surprised and impressed by how well-behaved the dogs are here. They are never running wild, and half the time they aren't even on a leash.
3) When it's cold out, they put their babies in what looks like sleeping bags in their Kinderwagens. The baby is all bundled in the warmest clothes possible, then slid into sleeping bags and cacooned in the warmth of the schlafsack. Ich finde es ganz süß.
4) They have bike paths! It's almost as if it's more normal to ride your bike to worth as it is to drive a car. Bike paths are everywhere and bikes have the right of way more than people. If you get in the way of one of these bike paths, they will kling their bell at you and run you over. And honestly, they probably won't feel bad about it.
5) The Euro looks like monopoly money. Part of me thinks it's just a pretty piece of colorful paper every time I see it. It's weird not understanding the weight and worth of a currency when using it. And also very, very dangerous.
6) Neon is a color that has yet to infiltrate this country. Germans mostly wear very dark colors, with red being the exception. I have hardly seen ANY bright colors here other than red. And I'm not even sure if red really counts as a bright color like neon.
7) If you don't shop at H&M, you might as well leave the country.
8) Gebrannte Mandeln, Lebkuchen, Gummibärchen, die Schokolade, und Brot may be some of the best things this country has to offer as far as food goes.
9) They don't have yummy things like Lucky charms, Oreos (or at least in the variety that we offer), sweet potatoes, pumpkin filling, premade pie crust, or the variety of sweets we have. Seriously, I find it impressive how much time Amerika has put into making an ungodly large variety of sweets.
10) For fairy tales, we have Disney. They have Brothers Grimm. And we wonder why our children are jacked up with ideas of happily ever after.
11) It's much harder to make friends with Germans than it is at home. They're not as friendly to you when they first meet you like Americans are, but they are also much more loyal as far as friendships and following through on what they say they're going to do.

Here are some pictures of JYM Thanksgiving, Krater Thanksgiving, and various events since I last wrote:

 Heather and I had a date at the Hard Rock Cafe in Munich. It was so great to eat some American food again. Aka: pulled pork sandwich, onion rings, chicken tenders in buffalo sauce, and more.

Becca celebrated her 21st birthday and we went out to celebrate!

 Alisa joined me for our Thanksgiving feast at JYM (my program).

 Our classy set up :)

Alisa, Heather, Sami, and me on Thanksgiving.

 Thanksgiving at the Krater's with everyone.

 Playing Phase 10 after dinner.

Laura, ich, und Marie. Sie sind wunderschön :)

Thanksgiving was really encouraging, and although I of course miss being home at times, I'm so grateful to have spent it hear with new friends and family.

Wow, this is frustrating.

So Google definitely decided to lock me out of my blog account for like the past month. I suppose I could have kept up with my blog through Microsoft Word...but I was kind of thinking I would never see my blog again. Here is what I've written so far since my last post:
 

"Like I said in the last post, this blogging thing isn’t really my thing. But nonetheless, I will do my best to try to write out things that have gone on in the last few weeks since I’ve last written.

It’s really hard to compress the last few weeks because it feels like I’ve been here for so long already. I love the city, and the culture, the way of life, Germans, my program, the people in my program, and I’m extremely grateful for all of the things I get to see and do here. It’s really hard sometimes to be so far away from home because there are some relationships that part of me doesn’t even know really how to function without sometimes. I guess that’s the beauty of it, ya know? You think you can keep going and going because you know certain people will always be there for you…but what if you do study abroad? What if you travel to a different part of the world for a year where no one knows you? Could you do it? Would you be as confident in who you are there as you are back home with your friends and family? Or would you try to blend in and go with wherever the people and city take you? Would you continue the personality and beliefs and morals of who you’ve become up to this point in your life and would you bring them here with enough of an open-mind to have them challenged, or possibly changed for life?

I know most blogs go into a ton of details about the city, traveling, pictures, events, etc. However, I don’t really feel like that’s what most blogs should be about. The biggest part of your journey is how it affects you, changes you, encourages you, challenges you, and how it contributes to the events in your life that are designed to help you become who you were meant to be. That’s what this adventure is for me. And although I love the fact that you can pick up and travel in the blink of an eye, that there’s always something to do, and that there are so many new things to learn and experience, I don’t want to ever get to a point where I become numb to who I am, what I’m learning, and how it’s changing me.

Since I’ve come to Germany, I’ve really been challenged to learn how to become more humble. I came here with not the greatest amount of knowledge in the language, and expected to just pick it up for the most part after a month or so, because that’s what I had heard from other people. However, that was not the case at all. I was put to live with two different families in my amazing church and most of the time spoke English with them because I felt like such a burden or complication due to the fact that when they would speak to me in German, I had to tell them I didn’t understand. I could see the frustration and confusion developing. The emotional barrier that is created when you can’t effectively communicate with someone is something I have never in my life experienced. I hated the way it made me feel, and still do at times. Now, I’ve learned to push through it a lot more and not shut down, or get mad, or convince myself that they are just mean. For so long I felt like I had to justify myself to everyone and would say or think to myself… “I am smart, I haven’t had that much German, if this were in English I’d totally understand everything, well my German is better than your English…” and the list goes on. Sometimes I would just sit alone and be upset because I felt like no one could understand me. And when I would try to make a joke sometimes with different people…oh my gosh how that would completely fail. Germans can be sarcastic at times, but I feel like the sarcasm we have in America is gaaaaanz anders. A lot of times I think I would come off as mean and instead of having the chance to explain myself (because a lot of times I wouldn’t even know how to apologize or explain where I was going with that in German) I would just want to run as far away as possible. Being somewhere where no one knows how you work, or why you overreact over something that seems small to them, or not even having people to regularly check up on you is extremely hard.

My faith has been stretched to the max here. The church here and the personalities are very different, and for a long time it felt like the harder I tried, the worse it got. Sometimes it would even get to a point where I would try to avoid everything because it was easier. But that’s not who I am, and so I’ve tried to get pushing through the desire to run from what makes me uncomfortable. And God has really taught me about the importance of learning about every part of His Kingdom, not just the ones that make you feel great, or needed, or completely at peace all the time. That’s one thing I’ve especially learned while I’m here…my emotions are insane at times. I always want to follow through and make decisions based on how I’m feeling in the moment, and that’s actually a very unwise way to approach things. I’ve had to create kind of an emotional filter, and had to learn the word for advice in German (it’s der Rat, by the way). Part of me keeps wanting the end of the year to get here, while the other part of me doesn’t think I could leave.

I lost my H&M bag (which was not cheap) about three weeks ago in the U-Bahn. I love the transportation system here, even though it’s one of the most expensive in all of Germany, but that feeling you get in your stomach after the doors close and the train begins to move and you’ve realized your stuff is still on that U-Bahn…that’s a sick feeling. I freaked out and ran to the information desk and was so stressed I could even remember what the verb was for ‘to lose.’ (it’s verlieren). I asked the man in German if he could speak with me in English and he said no. He had to go find someone to talk with me, which ended up being a 2 hour wait just to be told to call Hauptbahnhof (the great big main train station that travels out to other parts of Europe) and see if anyone turned it in. I felt so dumb, and mad at myself. I’ve always been very easily distracted and I’m very well known for losing everything. A week later after the H&M bag, I lost my German cell phone on the U-Bahn. But thankfully one of my German friends, David, called it for me and the lady told us where we could come to get it and then we hung out at Marienplatz and got ice cream. The first week of classes I lost my Kalendar (planner) at one of the LMU buildings. Three days ago, I lost my Ausweis, Monatskarte, and LMU student card. The Ausweis is your information card (especially when you’re a foreigner), the Monatskarte is the pass you buy at the beginning of the month to ride the U-Bahn, and the LMU card is like my Tiger Stripe at Clemson with my matriculation number.

I was in serious distress. I couldn’t even pray because I was so frustrated and mad at myself that I was convinced God would think I was just as dumb and too irritated to deal with this kind of problem I’ve had all my life. I started riding my bike everywhere because I wasn’t going to pay 40 more Euros for another Monatskarte and found that I genuinely love riding my bike better than riding the U-Bahn. It’s a little chilly, but it’s good exercise, I get some peace in the morning, and my prayer times are a lot better when I have that 30 minutes to ride somewhere. Part of me was kind of glad I lost my Monatskarte because riding my bike challenges me to be disciplined and get up earlier to get where I’m going on time, I have to plan out the night before where I’m going so that I don’t get lost (which is also what I’m known for), and I have to be super strict in the morning about getting ready because I can’t afford to lose any extra time. Plus it’s just beautiful to ride on the bike paths here, see the Fall leaves falling, the cute buildings, German families, little German children riding their bikes with their parents, smelling the bakeries as you ride by them, seeing the sun come out from behind the gray clouds that are here every morning....I would never be able to do something like that in Greenville or Clemson.

My hostbrother Erik came and hung out with me yesterday, and when I checked my mailbox, someone had actually mailed my Ausweis, LMU card, and Monatskarte to me! I was so excited I screamed. I couldn’t believe someone would actually do that. I had kind of lost all faith in the German society after no one turned in my H&M bag, but when I got that stuff back I was so excited."

That's all I had written. This past week in Munich has been such a wonderful experience. Dorian came and hung out with me on Monday, and Heather came over, and we all made dinner together. Dorian has been amazingly encouraging this week. He has switched to German with me and I feel like he's one of the few who actually get why it's really important for me to practice my German. Hanging out all together on Monday was really fun, and they dinner we made wasn't even that bad. Dorian was a perfectionist with rice and I took care of the meet and vegetables. Heather talked in German. It was nice, and chill. 

We've been studying the Bible with a girl named Jamilia, who's 20 and German, for the past month or so and I have absolutely loved it. She has a wonderful personality and I love hearing her heart to learn about God and life in general. We've had three studies with her and will have another next week. She even prayed to God this week which was huge for her :) Because she was brave enough to pray I decided to pray to God for the first time since I've been here and German. It was SO WEIRD. I felt like I was babbling instead of speaking in German. But it was so cool because when I was done everyone was super excited for me too.

I had a Referat this week in my German Literatur Klasse on Das Lyrik and I actually did really good! I got a huge boast of confidence in my German this past week and it felt like everything was so much more comfortable and encouraging and the mistakes just didn't matter. I feel like I've lost some of that since this week, but hopefully it's just because I haven't practiced for a couple of days since my Referat. 

Today was seriously one of my most favorite days since I've been to Munich. Becca, Sara, Louis, Steven and I traveled with the Bahn to Garmisch-Partenkirchen. Here is the website:

http://www.partnachklamm.eu/

It's in German but of course you can find translations. We visited a Gorge today, and it wasn't super touristy, and only about 1.5-2 hours away. The hike to the Gorge was really easy and quick, but after we went through everything we decided to hike to the nearest city, Klaus (I think). We ended up hiking 8.7 miles today! It took a few hours, but it was the most incredibly fun experience. I forgot my camera, but here are some great pictures of the Gorge that I found online:

This is just a picture of what it looks like when the water freezes over. It looks amazing.

It was amazing. My friend took some pictures and I'll post some of hers later when she puts them up. There was also this 4 star hotel-wellness place called 'Das Kranzbach' and it looked heavenly. Here are some pictures I found online of it:

And this is the place we watched people in white bathrobes and slippers hang around. We were so jealous.

It's gorgeous. And the Alps are right behind it. Definitely would not mind going back in the future as a customer. PS if this was a 4 star, then WHAT is their definition of a 5 star???

I have my first test coming up this week and a couple of papers, but hopefully it won't be bad. JYM is letting us take over the building for Thanksgiving, so we've organized a planning committee to do decorations, make pies, make the main dishes, desserts, and set up for Macy's Day Parade and Peanuts Thanksgiving. I'm so excited and so grateful that JYM respects American holidays.

Until next time!