Mein Jahr in München: Kenyan Wedding: Kiki and Amos, March 3, 2012

On Saturday the 3^rd of March, I had the amazing privilege of attending the wedding of a young couple in the Nairobi Christian Church, a sister church of my church in Munich, Clemson, and Greenville. The couple’s names are Kiki and Amos, both in their mid-twenties. They worked together for a while, and Amos eventually asked her out to church. She started coming and eventually they started dating, and got engaged. The wedding was held at the church’s very large building (they have over 1,500 members), along with the reception. I was so excited to be able to attend my first wedding in the church, and an African wedding. When some of the people that I work with learned I would be attending the wedding, they all commented on what an incredible experience that would be for me. And let me tell you, African weddings are the best weddings.

Fridah, my ‘African Mom’ and roommate, did the make-up for Kiki, so we had to wake up especially early and meet Kiki, her family, and bridesmaids at the pastor (John) of the church’s house because his wife was feeding everyone and Kiki lives right next door to them. There were so many people in such a small space! It was a little overwhelming, especially with all of the Swahili around me, not to mention, I’m still having a really hard time understanding their English because of how strong their accents are. Kenyans have amazingly good English, however they have phrases that are so different from American English, so that when I do understand what they’re saying…I still don’t understand what they’re saying. I did learn that when a little boy or man looks handsome, they say they look ‘smart’ instead. And instead of ‘my friend gave me a ride’, they say ‘my friend dropped me’. And the most confusing one for me at first was instead of ‘I’m eating this’, they say ‘I’m taking this’. I always want to be a smart-aleck and ask where they’re taking it, but I refrain. I love it though. I love that they’ve made English into their own thing.

The wedding ceremony was supposed to start at 11 am, and the bride was two hours late. But apparently ‘it’s Africa’ and ‘it always happens’, according to Fridah. But when the bride and bridesmaids arrived, they were absolutely gorgeous. The bridesmaids came down one by one, and each of the groomsmen stuck their arms out halfway, and walked them the rest of the way. They each had nine attendants. The bride’s parents both walked her down the aisle and gave her away. I really liked that idea, instead of it just being the father. That makes more sense to me to have both parents walk their daughter down the aisle. I took so many videos because it was so beautiful, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to add them to Facebook until I get back to Munich, because so far no videos have been working.

The service started with a prayer, worship songs including “How Great is Our God” and two African songs in Swahili that sounded amazing with so many people. After that John gave a message on Amos 3:3 (“Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?”), Jeremiah 29:11, and Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”). I was honestly so grateful to not have heard “Love is patient, love is kind…”. That is an excellent scripture, but it’s overused for weddings. I just thought it was really encouraging that they took the time to explain marriage from a biblical perspective of love rather than the cheesy emotional part that sometimes doesn’t have the depth needed to make a marriage last. I hope that doesn’t sound rude or judgmental because I honestly don't understand what that kind of commitment really is or means yet, but as I grow older I certainly want to keep learning.

They then said their vows, and “I Do’s”, and went on stage to sign their marriage certificate. After they came back down, a group of their guy friends performed for them, and then a young girl sang a song from Luther Vandross, all of which sounded amazing. They finished the ceremony by playing fun African music really loud and the bride and groom dancing together back up the aisle, followed by their bridesmaids and groomsmen. Even the kids were dancing behind them. I took a video of it because it made me smile so much.

The bride and groom went to take picture while the rest of us ate lunch, and enjoyed the entertainment. The food was beef, rice, and vegetables, which is generally what they eat. It tasted good, but it’s always in such large proportions that I can’t ever finish all of it, which I think feels rude. And to drink they had cases and cases of many flavored Fantas. I don’t think I’ve ever even drank a Fanta before, and that’s seriously seems to be one of the most popular drinks they serve here. They even had a pineapple flavor.

After eating, the entertainers, who were four tall, nice guys dressed in black sweaters with green, red, and yellow-shaped diamonds going down the front called all of the ladies forward to begin dancing. He said that the ladies were to keep dancing until the wedding couple arrived. Apparently when they have an early wedding here instead of a night wedding, the bride and groom’s “first dance” is being welcomed in by the guests rather than them dancing alone to ‘their song’ in the middle. Fridah told me to get up so that she could teach me how to dance. I smiled at her, got up, and jumped right in with all of the ladies dancing, and she was like “Hoo ahh yoh?” in her strong African accent. It was so awkward because I was the only white person out of seriously over five hundred people. I’ve never experienced anything like that before. And I’ve also never heard the word “Musungu” (white person) more in my life. It’s so funny because if we said anything like that about another race in the states, we’d be in so much trouble.

We probably danced for a couple of hours out in the hot sun, but despite the heat I thoroughly enjoyed it. After all of the dancing, we sat down while the bridesmaids, groomsmen, and other friends and family shared about the newlyweds. Then people lined up in front of them to give them their gifts. An envelope was also passed around to donate money to the couple. So different! Then they cut the cake and handed out really small square pieces to everyone. Some of the small pieces were even wrapped up in plastic and tied with string that matched the color scheme of the wedding. And then after that, we all said our goodbyes and the couple left for their honeymoon.

This event literally lasted the whole day, but I’m extremely glad I was able to participate in such a monumental event, and especially to see it from a different culture’s perspective!